Perception and Attitude Part 1

Perception and Attitude

First of all the Universe

I like to call it the universe, because it is outside of myself and it is more powerful than I.
People who believe that life is just random, that events happen randomly for no reason to random people with predictable or not results are choosing a long, and difficult ride for themselves. It’s that simple. Even if they are actually right, what a horribly useless headspace to adopt as any kind of solution for success or happiness. Not taking responsibility for anything, how can you have a hope in hell of anything out of the ordinary, or anything great to happen?
What I do say I know is that events happen in life to the individual, and how the individual chooses to see those events greatly determines how happy and fulfilled that person will be. Success is not about money, although all of us including yourself are programmed to believe that. As intellectuals we might argue that no, success is not money, but deep down in our hearts, we all make the mistake of believing that it does matter, because we rely on it in the modern world. I don’t fully understand how much money has to do with anything, but for some reason we all use it as a measuring stick for how successful a person is, or isn’t. Most of my friends and myself included are hypocrates when we say it doesn’t matter to our happiness, when deep down inside we believe we would be much happier floating on a yacht in the Pacific.
We all like and appreciate money, and having piles of it, yet it’s not cool to admit it, and it’s much more modest looking to pretend it doesn’t matter. So most of us struggle with this internal conflict continuously.
There are many things to be learned about money, and that’s not what this essay, if you will, is about.
So what is this about?
Perception, and attitude, greatly determine how happy you will be in your life. It’s so sad that a large percentage of people on this Earth really have no clue about that. Even intelligent, well read, experienced “intellectuals” are totally in the dark about this concept it seems, or refuse to apply it. I side with Anthony Robbins, Robert Blanton, every motivational speaker in existence who will tell you that attitude is everything.

In Shotokan Karate it is no different. “never give up.” is a very widely used, and general purpose “slogan” if you will, for the greater truths therein. But the simplicity remains, as with any real truth, it is infallible.
I don’t have the strength to put up an argument any more to make a debate, in my essays, unless I do. Right now, I don’t. Defending my viewpoint to an invisible advocate is a waste of energy for me, so I’ll move, and create from there, by saying that these are my beliefs, and this is what I have learned (or have chosen to learn)

The universe, which is outside of your own reality is something you have to accept. If you believe the universe does not exist, that this is all an elaborate dream of your own fabrication, then I’m sorry, but this is not going to work for you. Get help.
If you believe that Jesus is smiling down on you, that’s perfectly ok, my theory can accommodate Jesus, and God, and Satan, but your going to have to stretch more then you might be used to.

I have been “praying” now for over five years.
No, I don’t get down on my knees, fold my hands, bow my head, shut my eyes, and address some specific hippy dude with a warm smile who walked on water. (And he DID walk on water-I think-because he believed he could beyond the shadow of a doubt)
The praying I do is to the universe. I don’t pray for money, or pray for a new bike. I don’t pray for the universe to help me lose weight. People who pray for these kind of things are refusing to take responsibility for their own action, refusing to harness their own personal power to create, are generally cowards of reality, and choose to hide from it rather than confront it.
When I pray, I ask for the protection of my family. I pray for this fictional thing called “luck”.
I pray for things that are outside of my control, determined by forces that may or may not have been influenced by my own momentum. Before a job interview, I practice my lines in front of a mirror. I know what clothes I will wear. I know the exact route to get to the location, and specifically how long its going to take me to get there to arrive 15 minutes early. I have extra copies of my resume, and I’m ready to start work in case they ask me to on the spot. I’m the man of choice, and I already know I’m hired. It is up to me to convince them of that, and that is where it ends. The rest, is up to the universe.
I am not the supervisor sitting behind the desk looking at Shawn. I have no control over him/her or the decisions that they make. Energy outside of myself and my world does, and that is what I prey to. I ask it to consider my circumstances, and make a decision that “it” feels I would benefit from.
So I don’t get the job, is it failure? Hardly. It sure feels like it though. You see, there really is no such thing as “failure”, there are only “outcomes.”
The result of my preparation for this job is that I didn’t get it ultimately. That is the outcome. Is it final? No.
I could go back next year, and get hired on the spot. Right now, outside forces that are not my own, determined that I am either not ready for this job, or the job is not ready for me. Something outside of myself made a decision. Did that decision get made “for” me like a favor? Maybe, maybe not. But you know what? It does a hell of a lot for your self-confidence, your esteem, and the inspiration it takes to get your depressed ass out of bed everyday to believe that it was. If I believe that everything happens for a reason, it allows me to take responsibility for my action, and it allows me to let go of responsibility and stop thinking I suck because I didn’t get the gig. My ultimate conclusion, is that this opportunity was not the opportunity I need at this point. I thought it was, but there is obviously something different waiting for me to acknowledge it instead. Maybe I need a stepping stone first. Maybe what I thought was ideal, is not at all ideal, in fact a downward spiral in a direction I don’t want to go, or a distracting tangent. Losing out of that job was a favor from the universe, not a lesson, or punishment, which it may have felt like after the door slammed shut behind me.
I think, it all boils down to how you talk to yourself.
I have been living like a monk here, outside of my huge fan club of children at work, I have chosen not to engage outside acquaintances. Why that is, I wasn’t entirely sure at first. Having a 9 to 5 means less time for Shawn. I thought I needed to be selfish with my free time to do the things that make me happy, like writing music, and moving pictures. I continued for months without friendship, only choosing to keep my existing friends through the wonders of modern technology: namely, email!
My second excuse was that it must have been my high standards of quality control. After losing a friendship I’ve kept for 23 years, I felt like I really needed to question the friends that I choose, and the company I keep for my own self-preservation. After all, I am responsible for the shitty decisions I make, absolutely, and boy, or girl, you’d best believe that for yourself, too!
Do I need company around me that influences my weaknesses, and provides me with tempting opportunities to fail myself?
Maybe I do need that as a test of my personal strength. But as an alternative, how about having friends that influence your strengths, and provide you with models instead, to achieve greater happiness and understanding? Wouldn’t I rather have friends like that around me?
I can have 10 friends that I party with, who influence me to disregard my body, my internal machinery for the sake of a “good time”. Or, I can have one friend around me that challenges me to reach for greater things, offers me experience, and provides me with ideas that I never thought of, or had never considered. Someone who has real experience with things that I do not have as much experience with, someone with answers to large questions that I have. I hate to use the term “role model” but for lack of a better one, I will.
Take what is useful, throw away what is not. Even a friend who doesn’t really care about your well being can give you information that is useful. How many times have I been influenced by humor? Somebody with a really quick wit said to me recently, “No good deed goes unpunished.”
That made me howl! What I need to acknowledge about that statement, is how true it sounds, and how untrue in fact it is!
The person who said it to me is a pessimist, and a cynic. Those people make the best comedians, and I thank the universe for people like Chris Rock, and Eddie Murphy, and Dave Chappelle, amoungst a hundred other similar names.
I’m just really glad that I don’t need to live life from this vantage point of being cynical, and jaded, that I can see a higher truth instead of dwelling on the strength of a lower one.
Nothing is more entertaining than pain, and violence!
Especially pain that makes us laugh, because it isn’t ours, and violence beyond our own imagination.
Laughter really is an incredible medicine, and we should do it at every opportunity. But I feel the need to make the distinction between entertainment, and real life. Modeling my life after an intelligent, witty, cynic, doesn’t serve me at all.
Your attitude greatly determines how your life will work out. Failure doesn’t exist, unless you allow it to.
How can you possibly know and understand failure?
Just because you wanted something and you didn’t get it, doesn’t mean that you need to jump to that conclusion!
My most painful memories of regret and “failure” have been the greatest lessons I’ve received from life. Re-organizing those experiences from the past to isolate the essence of what I learned from them, becomes useful tools for the future.
As an exercise try this:
Imagine one of the most embarrassing things that ever happened to you, or even better, something you are deeply ashamed of.
Before you jump to conclusions and say “I’ll never do THAT again”, imagine what could have happened, and how you would do it differently on round two. Extract what is useful from it, and stop dwelling on what went wrong. Making a list of every embarrassing, shitty, dumb ass mistake you made, or opportunities that you let slip by, is a really good thing to do. Re-examining each experience and extracting what you would do now instead, allows you to let go of the painful memory, and arm yourself for the next time a similar situation comes up. Do this, and you will sleep much better at night, I guarantee it.
I’ll leave you with that, and I’ll report back with more thoughts of this in “essays” to come.